I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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