We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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