i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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