I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
