I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
