4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
