one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
