I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
