I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
