I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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