How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
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Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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