FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
