there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
