Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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