ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
