nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
