Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
