im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
