why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
