You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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