The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
