so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
