shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
