I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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