I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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