Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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