So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
