How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
