belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
