I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize