Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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