smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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