So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
