Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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