Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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