What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize