They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
