i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Two words: blizzard sex
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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