I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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