I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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