maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
