why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
