Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
