that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Everyone says I win the strip club
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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