No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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