I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize