Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
