Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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