I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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