I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
