i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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