Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
im holly from the hills drunk
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
