Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
