Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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