The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
