Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize