i just wanna soil my oats bro
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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