hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
