All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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