Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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