deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
