i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
